Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Need some good thoughts...

My hat is off to you ladies that have husbands that travel for their work. Chad is leaving on Monday for a week for his job, and I am just not handling it well at all, and he isn't even gone yet. We have been married for 8 years, and we haven't spent more than 2 nights away from one another. Honestly, I just don't like it when we're not together. It's not "us." I am not looking forward to a week of being home by myself and taking care of the boys by myself. How do you do it?

I am sure I am overreacting to the whole situation, and that there is nothing to worry about, but I cannot help but worry. I worry about him flying, traveling, the boys asking me where their daddy is...etc. This is all new to me, and I already don't like it.

I need some good thoughts out there. How do you handle, how does it work for you and your family? Ugh...I have shed so many tears over this. I don't necessarily want him to look for a different job, but I also don't want him to have a job that is going to require him to travel a lot. Okay, I know I am whining...I need to snap out of it. I just hope that this trip isn't the start of many more to follow.


Nancy said...

Paul goes to seminars in WI twice a year for a couple of days and I worry constantly. Especially during flight time. I don't know how other people do it either because when Paul isn't working we are ALWAYS together as a family. I will be thinking about you!! HUGS!!

Stacey said...

Well, you know Jer has been gone for about 8 weeks total this year. It is definitely harder on you because you have to do EVERYTHING-things he might normally do. The worst part for me was the bed time routine...he always takes over with the older kids and I take the baby. For me, I just have to suck it up and do it because I HAVE to. And you manage. We have two web cams and we chatted with him most nights (when he wasn't working late). Try to keep busy with scrapping or little outings. We always set up an extra table near my scrap table for the kids to make special crafts. We never have it up when he is home so it is a special little thing. I bought a big roll or white poster paper and we covered it so they could do messier crafts. They work there and I work at my table. LOL I also found myself needing to chat with my girlfriends more online (yahoo IM). If you have that, I will send you my username. :) HUGS!!

Jessica said...

Stacy--good luck to you. Chris is currently gone now for his fifth week of the last two months. This is also the first of a stretch of three straight weeks he is gone. :( I'm sorry for do get somewhat used to it after a bit, but with Chad being gone for the first time, I'm sure it will seem extra hard.

As your friend Stacey said, the bedtime routine is the hardest. Like her husband, Chris usually helps so much with the older ones. It is rough when they start yelling for me and I'm just getting Elizabeth to relax.

I usually end up going to spend a day (and quite often a night) with my mom. This helps with easing my feeling lonely and distracting me from worry and such. But there are downsides to that. With three kids, it's hugely inconvenient to take overnight stuff for everyone and our routine is thrown completely off for days after that.

It helps if you can get out of the house...plan an outing or day of shopping. Especially on the first and last whole days he will be gone. These are the days you feel it the most. And do something out of the ordinary at home with the kids, like have a picnic dinner in the living room, or build blanket tents. Get together with a friend for a playdate.

Of course so much of your day-to-day activities seem harder to manage with only one parent around, but there are ways to make it a mini-break for yourself as well. Without a hungry husband to feed, you can plan a simpler dinner and ease your cooking/dishes load. And with one less person in the house, there will be less laundry piling up (for a few days at least, until he gets home and empties his suitcase--but you can tell yourself that really you are just so efficient and wonderful that you are staying on top of it so well!).

Sorry to be so long....I hope I was helpful. And, I will also be husbandless next week, so if you need anything or just need help passing the time, let me know!

Stacy said...

Thanks so much girls! I really appreciate the advice, and it is nice to know that I am not alone in feeling the way I do. You're the best!

Anonymous said...

Will used to work nights and I always felt so alone. He'd sleep during the day and be gone at was tough. But try to do the webcam if you can and then take this week as an excuse to catch up on your chick flicks with a glass of wine or bowl of ice cream when the kids are in bed! That is what I do now on Will's guy nite every other Sat night...I use it as time for me to do stuff I really enjoy that he doesn't necessarily like so when we're together again we can do stuff we both like!


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