There are no words...

Sadness

I cannot imagine facing such a horrible tragedy in my town, my school, my family.

Overwhelmed

So many lives, so much loss.

Grief

My grief is beyond comparison to what those families are feeling.

Safety

For my kids, teachers and my schools.

Protect

I must shield my kids.  I want to keep them in a bubble.

Thankful

For those teachers and staff that put their lives on the line for those sweet children.  

To have my own children safe at home with me.

For a gracious Father who called those 26 individuals home to dwell at His side.

My words are so small, just as I feel in the midst of what has happened.  

I shared with my boys about the tragedy that occurred in Newtown, CT.

I shared that we need to give thanks that we are all coming home to one another today, because there are currently families who cannot do that.

We prayed, we cried, and we loved one another.  

Feeling Displaced

Some of you may already know that last Monday, October 8th, I returned home from taking Gabe to the doctor around 11:30am to find that our home had been broken into.  My secure life was shaken to its core.  Our safe and loving home was destroyed by some broken individual(s) that felt the need to steal our belongings as well as our birth certificates and social security cards from our lock box.  I know that most things stolen were material posessions, but those belongings meant something to my family and me.  My camera along with all of my camera cards and my laptop that had my pictures downloaded onto it is something that I cannot replace.  My locket that had my sons' photos in it from when they were little cannot be replaced either.  I have had it over 9 years, and I am sure they do not make it anymore.  My JFK memorabilia from Chad as a Christmas present when we were dating was another stolen item.  So much was taken, and it just makes me so disheartened.  An act of robbery is not just one of stealing personal possessions, but it is of a higher magnitude in the damage that it causes.

We moved out of our home that same day.  I didn't know that Sunday, October 7th was going to be our last night in our home we had made together for almost 11 years.  Yes, we are moving, and we have been planning to move this month, but that was not the last memories that I was hoping to make in that home.  What a horrible feeling to have to endure, and I pray that my boys are okay, and they know that Chad and I will always protect them and keep them as safe as we can!  So, to those that robbed my family of our possessions, our safety and security, our last nights in our home-I will one day forgive you, but for now, you have accomplished what you set out to do.

Some layout sharing

I have actually been scrapping lately!  I wanted to share a few of the layouts that I have finished!

I Love My Boys

Wordless Wednesday

My story

I was out mailing my wedding invitations that September morning before I would head to my student job at Indiana State University.  I walked inside of the post office of my small town, and the postal worker was telling me that a plane had hit the World Trade Center in New York City.  I had made a comment about it being bombed not that long ago, and he agreed.  He said, "I don't know if I would want to visit those buildings."  I laughed and half-heartedly agreed.  I finished applying stamps on my invitations, and then got into my car and started on my 15 minute drive to work.  I was listening to the radio, and it was different.  I don't remember hearing that a second plane had hit, but I do remember the female DJ was upset on air.  I remember hearing, "they are attacking the Pentagon.  A plane hit the Pentagon."  That is when fear set in.  I got on my cell phone and called my finace (Chad), and my first words were, "I think we are being attacked!!"  As I am typing this, I am filled with that feeling again...chills throughout my body, and a sinking feeling in my stomach.  I don't remember much more of that conversation.  I remember being scared...scared because a chemical depot plant was only 30 miles North of where my family and I lived.  If we were seriously under attack, the VX nerve gas plant was surely on a "hit list." 

I arrived to work.  My student job was with the attorney for the university, and my work station was located at the ISU President's office known as Condit House.  I arrived to work, and everyone was gathered in the kitchen area watching the television.  We just stood there in silence, and watched as the South Tower collapsed.  We were all in utter disbelief and shock.  We stood and watched more as the North Tower collapsed not long after.  What do you say?  What do you do?  Everyone was just numb from disbelief!  Is this really happening?  I remember at one point I was sitting at my desk area and calling my mom.  I remember her telling me that we needed to find my brother.  I think there was just this overwhelming sense to find your family...hold close to those that you love the most.  Find them, tell them you love them, just hold on to a sense of "normal" life. 

I cannot imagine the fear that those in New York were feeling, especially not being able to find out right away if a family member made it or not.  The days after the initial attacks were so sad as we started to hear the stories of how everything unfolded that day.  I will never forget.  The feelings are just as raw now as they were that day 11 years ago.  That day really showed the evil that is in this world, but I know that so  many turned to Him on that day and continue to do so now.  Evil did not win, and I will never forget!

Kindergarten

First Day of Kindergarten!  How did that happen?!?!  He was a ball a nerves, but I know he is going to love school!  Love this boy of mine so much!  Praying for a wonderful year of new experiences, fun and friends for you Graedon Everett!

A New Normal

Last week we were delivered a blow...Chad's mom was diagnosed with Stage 3C colon cancer.  So many thoughts enter your mind...are we going to lose her, how long does she have, what does this mean, how sick is she going to get?  The list goes on and on.  My heart aches for what my family is going to face.  This is Chad's mom, how am I going to be there for him?  What can I do for him?  This is my boys' grandma.  My goodness, I was an adult when I lost my grandma, they are too young to possibly have to face losing theirs. 

My head is a jumble and my heart hurts.  This week has been better.  A little more like ourselves as a family.  She is now home after her surgery, and seems to be healing well.  She will have another outpatient procedure next Tuesday to have her port put in for her chemotherapy.  She will begin chemo on August 20th. 

I have been amazed at the amount of love, concern and prayer that has been shown and offered during this last week, and it just solidifies even more to me that we need our Heavenly Father.  He is what gets us through.  He is who we need.  He is in control!  We must have faith!  There is nothing comforting about a loved one being diagnosed with a horrible disease, but it can be dealt with and lived through knowing that He has a plan. 

I know we are facing a long battle of chemo trips and sick days.  Nita will more than likely lose her hair.  I am anticipating that I will be taking her to many chemo visits.  It is going to be a new normal for us, but one we are ready to face!  It feels like we are entering a battle, and I want to be "armed" with knowledge, understanding and most of all-faith!

If you feel led to pray for Nita, I know we can use all the prayer we can get.

Just daydreaming...

 I am wishing for another week of this!

Wordless Wednesday

This boy makes my heart so happy!

A lot of this going on...

 We are currently living at the ball park.  Both boys are playing this year with Gabe in Coach Pit and Graedon in T-ball.  Gabe has improved so much since last year, and his games are so exciting to watch!  Last night he was 3 for 3 in batting with 4 RBIs!!  We are so proud of him!

 Getting a hit off of the first pitch!

 Graedon was pitcher's helper last night.  He did a great job, and he was having a good time as well!  So fun to have both of my boys involved and enjoying themselves!

Treat him well, Denver!

 Peyton Manning, #18 for the Indianapolis Colts for 14years!

I watched him in his rookie year play against the Chicago Bears, and I remember Chad telling me that he was supposed to be really good.

Wow, what an understatement!

He's an amazing football player, but more importantly for me, just a classy guy.

I don't know him personally, but I have always heard him speak with humility and humbleness.

Very rare in the entertainment business.

I wish him the best of luck in Denver, and officially join the ranks of being a Broncos fan!  

2 Mom Days

The past 2 days of my life should be labeled as "mom days."  You know those days...the ones where everything you do revolves around your kids, and I mean everything!  I was making Valentines for Gabe's school party, burnt my finger on a glue gun doing it, making rice krispie treats in the shape and color of pink hearts, etc.  Then both of my boys end up sick with fevers and bad coughs.  So, my nights have been filled with taking temps and kissing foreheads.  Ugh, mom days...yes, that is what I have been having.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I would never trade these days with my boys for anything.  Just saying, that these have been mom days at one of the higher levels here, but I love being able to be here for my boys!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day.  I was lucky enough to be at Gabe's Valentine's party at school and get to see all of the kids with their Valentine's.  Such a fun moment to see kids actually being sweet to one another and just excited to share fun notes and candy.  My highlight was having one of Gabe's little friends ask me for our phone number because he wants to call Gabe for a playdate!  I almost cried right there.  I want him to have good friends so bad.  He deserves it! 

I had to take the boys to the doctor yesterday.  Graedon has an ear infection, and Gabe has been having respiratory issues.  His cough sounds horrible.  Loved how Leslie described it..."He sounds like a man!"  It is bad.  So, here is my kitchen table and 5 prescriptions later.  They are already feeling better!

2012-A Rough Start

The start of my New Year has been a rocky one.  There has been some family drama, and I have had a few rough weeks, and honestly, things are still not okay.  I am just trying to adjust to a new "normal."  My marriage is stronger than ever, and I am so lucky to have such a supportive and loving husband.  I value family relationships so much, and I have such a heavy heart that things with my some of my extended family are so strained right now.  I pray that things will get easier, and maybe one day, even be resolved.  I am just taking things day-by-day and counting the blessings that I do have.  I just wanted to fill you in on why I have been absent, but I am ready to embark on making 2012 a better year going forward, and I want you to be a part of it with me!

I have been getting creative at my scrap desk, and I look forward to sharing some of that with you soon!  Lots of photos to take and edit, and stories to fill this blog.  Hello 2012-(just a month late)!  :)